Signs your ride has too much power in your ride

Signs your ride has too much power in your ride:

The emissions test guy starts laughing as soon as you pull onto the rollers.

Your significant other is afraid to be in the car with you.

You spend more on tires than on food.

You spend more on car insurance than on house payments.

You look in a state police car and see a picture of your car taped to the dash.

You throw your underwear in the garbage rather than the hamper.
You have to go to the track to buy gas.

Your mechanic names the new wing of his shop after you.

You’re tempted to wear your fire suit just to drive to the office.

Red signal lights shift to green as you’re approaching then shift back to red as you’re receding.

You arrive somewhere before you left.

You get pulled over for doing 155 in a 35 but the cops will let you go if “they can look under the hood.”

You remove the $2000 stereo system to save 6 lb. of weight.

Your face looks like you are riding a NASA centrifuge when you drive the car.

You need parachute braking.

There is no possible way to “sneak out” of your neighborhood at 6 am.
Your pets scramble for their hiding spots as soon as the garage door is opened. (Pets, and all the neighbors…)

Family photos throughout the house are replaced with life-sized posters of your car.

Fuel is delivered to your home … in 55 gallon drums!
You carry earplugs in your car.

The only spot on the car which receives any regular cleaning is the windshield.

You find out that side mirrors don’t hold up at speeds exceeding 145 mph.

Young children cling to their mommies in fear when you round the corner.

Birds fall out of their nests from the rumble of your 5″ dual exhaust.

The UPS guy took to taking Steroids so he could keep up with your shipments.

The Fed Ex guy had a nervous breakdown.

The nearest Geological Seismic Surveying Station Operator knows your address by heart.

A booming voice greets potential passengers with, “That’s right ….you paid for the whole seat but you’ll only need the EDGE.

The earth slows in rotation when you hook up on your new slicks and head east.

You have to screw your slicks to the wheels.

Your exhaust pipes are larger in diameter than your driveline.

Your fuel pump flows enough to water a golf course.

Your compression’s high enough you could run diesel fuel.

The sparks from your wheelie bars start grass fires on the side of the road.

Your engine idles at 2800 rpm.

You measure the fuel you use in “gallons per mile.”